Don’t Smell the Floss: Part 1 Story Titles & Descriptions

Part One: Kittied to Death: Love Stories for a Contemporary Audience

The new collection of short stories has been divided, somewhat appropriately, into 2 main parts, with 7 stories in each. Kittied to Death, Part 1, features seven stories that all attempt to answer questions about love.

Think about all of them as my response to Raymond Carver, whose suggestive story title, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love has undoubtedly inspired countless other works of fiction. Like pop songs that have overdosed on camera cleaning fluid and pills, these aren’t traditional ideas on the subject. I’ve taken a shot at describing the main ideas in each of the stories, to give you a better idea of what you’ll find in the book.

1 One Day, Letter From Ghost Leg
Apotemnophilia is a not-often-discussed “love disorder,” or paraphilia, in which an otherwise-healthy individual longs for the removal of a perfectly functional limb. In this short story, I tried to imagine what kinds of events in a person’s childhood might account for them dealing with this condition: this is the story’s genesis. The piece includes tons of research on the frighteningly interesting topic, including clinical definitions. In the end, the main character is successful in his act of removing his leg – or is he? You’ll know when you read the mysterious letter that arrives in his mailbox one day….

2 We Control the Plot at Dangersby (How Our Relationship Falls Apart)
Told from the perspective of a late-twenties female narrator (Jeanne), the story is an essay in an individual’s personal and love-inspired confusion, and how that state contributes to both the downfall and her analysis of her relationship with Sam, her narcissistic co-conspirator. Relationships can be described as a “third entity” that comes to exist between two individuals – each “one” joins with the other to create an independent, third element that takes on a life of its own. Jeanne and Sam create a fictional character, “their guy,” thereby literalizing the process. Only their character is a serial killer. Find out how they each grow to understand their relationship through their writing of the butcher’s gruesome tale in the basement of the fictional house they name: Dangersby.

3 Letter to My Ex-Wife, in Need of an Explanation
When mild-mannered husband and dentist Mitch becomes the victim of a cruel, sexually deviant practical joke played upon him by his fellow dentists, he finds that his entire life as he once knew it, has been changed forever. When he decides to go through with the substance of the practical joke, the journey he takes into his own sexuality can be described as nothing less than spiritual. From public exhibitionism to focus group participation, Mitch’s letter to his sweet wife “Boo Boo” tells the sordid details that explain his weeks-long absence from their home.

Click to read the breakdowns of the other 4 stories in Part One (titles below)
4 A Brief History of the Tupperware Party
5 And Then Somehow, We Find Each Other (In Germany, the Cats)
6 My Friend the Pornographer
7 Ohne Titel (der Punkt)

Click to pre-order Don’t Smell the Floss NOW! [and get a signed copy with a drawing inside!]